dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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