are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
