I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
