Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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