Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
