i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
