it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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