She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
how drunk are you?
Several
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
