Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
