if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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