evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Damn victory sex feels great
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
