I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
