Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
