I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
