I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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