it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
On this version of āDean Canāt Be a Normal Fucking Human,ā I told a guy Iād shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
