The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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