Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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