her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
