If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
