Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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