I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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