doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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