It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
