Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
