Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
