so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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