Do you still have your period?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
