i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I bet he comes in French.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
