when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
