The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
What a dumb baby whore.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
