wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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