It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
