I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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