we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
