I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
