the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
