I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
