Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
