Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
