i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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