hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
