I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
