Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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