So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
