In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
