chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
