my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
