how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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