her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
