Don't make out with my wife yet
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
