every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Randomize
