I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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