Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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