So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
