He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
