She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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