So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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