Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
