Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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