Sry I called you an 8
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
