Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
