I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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